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Q. How do men define a “50/50? relationship?
A. Women cook, men eat; women clean, men get dirty; women iron, men wrinkle.

Q. How can you tell when a women is having a bad day?
A. She has her tampon behind her ear and she can not find her cigarette.

Q. How are women and tornadoes alike?
A. They both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave.

Q. Why are hangovers better than women?
A. Hangovers will go away.

Q. How is a woman like a condom?
A. Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q. How are women and linoleum floors alike?
A. You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

Q. Why do men always give their penis a name?
A. Because they don’t want a stranger making 95 percent of their decisions for them.

Q. What do rocks and women have in common?
A. You skip the flat ones!

Q. What do women and police cars have in common?
A. They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

Q. Why do women wear black underwear?
A. They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.