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Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

Q. Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes?
A. To keep them from rolling out of bed.

Q. What’s gray, sits by the bed and takes the piss?
A. A kidney dialysis machine.

Q. What do you call an eleven foot long urine stain?
A. Line dancing at the retirement center

Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

Two old people are having oral sex. He says, “I can’t say down there it stinks!”
She says, “Its my arthritis.”
He says, “What in your pussy?”
She says, “No. In my arm so I can’t wipe my ass.”

A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says,

‘Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.’

‘I know,’ the old man said.  ’We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.’
‘Well,’ Granny snickered.  ’Let’s relive some old times.’
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
‘You know, honey,’ the little old lady breathlessly replied,

‘My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.’
‘I wouldn’t be surprised,’ replied Gramps.   ‘One’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal