ROADHEADRULES.com

Q. Should I have another baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. What goes in hard and pink but comes out soft and mushy?
A. Bubblegum

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

Q. How do you get a sweet 80 year old lady to say the F word?
A. Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Q. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A. Doughnuts

Q: What is the difference between and Virgin and a washing machine?
A: The washing machine doesn’t follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it!

A guy went to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asked him, ‘Are you allergic to anything? He replied, ‘Yes - caffeine.’ ‘Have you ever been in the military service?’ ‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘I was in Iraq for two years.’ The interviewer said, ‘That will give you 5 extra points toward employment. Then he asked,’Are you disabled in any way?’ The guy said, Yes….an IED exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles. The interviewer grimaced and then said,’O.K. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day. The guy was puzzled and asks, ‘If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don’t you want me to here until 10:00 A.M.? This is a government job, the interviewer said. For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.

Q. What do you call it when a 90 year old man masturbates successfully?
A. Miracle whip.

Q. Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A. They have cotton balls

Q. What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say to clients as they are leaving?
A. Thanks for coming.