Posts Tagged ‘Jay Leno’

Stuttering Animals

Monday, May 11th, 2009

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. ‘Human beings are the only animals that stutter,’ she says.

A little girl raises her hand. ‘I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.’

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

‘Well’, she began, ‘I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!’

‘That must’ve been scary,’ said the teacher.

‘It sure was,’ said the little girl. ‘My kitty raised her back, went Sssss, Sssss, Sssss’ and before she could say ‘Shit!’, the Rottweiler ate her!

The teacher had to leave the room.

12/9/08 “Head” lines

Tuesday, December 9th, 2008
Former Fannie Mae &  Freddie Mac execs to testify
Illinois governor taken into custody
Wal-Mart to pay $54.25M to settle Minn. lawsuit
Detroit Mom Arrested After Sex Party
Man says being pet Santa a messy job
CITY COPS PREP FOR “MUMBAI”
NYC Eatery Charges 3 Percent For Food You Waste
Anheuser-Busch-InBev is cutting 1,400 U.S. salaried jobs
Playboy Chief Christie Hefner to Step Down Next Month
Britney Spears Dancers Getting Drug Tested
Oprah Says She’s Fat
New York Times enters talks with lenders
Jet crashes into home;  mother, grandmother& child killed
Leno to reportedly stay at NBC & move to prime time

WHY LENO NEEDS A BODY GUARD

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

Jimmy Kimmel FCC skit

Monday, October 13th, 2008