ROADHEADRULES.com

I was at my bank today and there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.

It was obvious she was a little irritated! She asked the teller, “Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?”

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations..”

The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people too”

 Little Tyrone was watching his mom cook dinner. He covered his face in flour and said LOOK! Im a white boy. his mom slapped him on the head and said show your daddy what you did! His dad slapped him upside the head and said show your granny. His granny slapped him across the head and asked what you have to say for youself? He said, “I’ve only been white for 5 minutes and I already hate you f!*#ing niggers!

I bought a race horse named “MyFace.” He’s not very fast, but imagine the people in the stands yelling “Come on my face! Come on my face!”

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
‘Hi, how are you?’

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom. I don’t know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
‘Doing’ just fine!’

And the other person says:
‘So what are you up to?’

What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
‘Uhhh, I’m like you, just sitting here. ‘

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question:
‘Can I come over?’

Ok, this question is just too weird for me. I figured I could politely end the conversation. I say:
‘No……..I’m a little busy right now!!!’

Then I hear the person say, nervously:

‘Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!’

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, I lasted less than a day…… About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I pleasantly said, “Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no, they ain’t twins; the oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7.
Why the hell would you think they’re twins, are you blind, or just stupid?”
I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid Ma’am, I just couldn’t believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”
My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.

I, the penis, request a pay raise due to the following reasons:

1. I do physical labor.

2. I work at great depths.

3. I plunge head first into everything I do.

4. I work weekends & holidays.

5. I work in a damp environment.

6. I work in dark areas with poor ventilation.

7. I work in high temperatures.

8. I may be exposed to disease.

Dear penis,Your request has been denied for the following reasons:

1. U don’t work 8 hours straight.

2. U work in short spurts and fall asleep after each brief work period.

3. U don’t stay in your designated area and arefrequently found in other locations.

4. U don’t take initiative and must be stimulated to start working.

5. U leave your work place messy at the end of your shift.

6. You are unable to work overtime or double shifts.

7. U sometimes leave your designated work area before completing the assigned task.

8. You have constantly been seen entering & exiting the work place with two suspicious bags.

A guy went to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asked him, ‘Are you allergic to anything? He replied, ‘Yes - caffeine.’ ‘Have you ever been in the military service?’ ‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘I was in Iraq for two years.’ The interviewer said, ‘That will give you 5 extra points toward employment. Then he asked,’Are you disabled in any way?’ The guy said, Yes….an IED exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles. The interviewer grimaced and then said,’O.K. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day. The guy was puzzled and asks, ‘If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don’t you want me to here until 10:00 A.M.? This is a government job, the interviewer said. For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.