ROADHEADRULES.com

I, the penis, request a pay raise due to the following reasons:

1. I do physical labor.

2. I work at great depths.

3. I plunge head first into everything I do.

4. I work weekends & holidays.

5. I work in a damp environment.

6. I work in dark areas with poor ventilation.

7. I work in high temperatures.

8. I may be exposed to disease.

Dear penis,Your request has been denied for the following reasons:

1. U don’t work 8 hours straight.

2. U work in short spurts and fall asleep after each brief work period.

3. U don’t stay in your designated area and arefrequently found in other locations.

4. U don’t take initiative and must be stimulated to start working.

5. U leave your work place messy at the end of your shift.

6. You are unable to work overtime or double shifts.

7. U sometimes leave your designated work area before completing the assigned task.

8. You have constantly been seen entering & exiting the work place with two suspicious bags.

A crusty old man walks into the local Baptist Church and says to the secretary, ‘I would like to join this damn church.’

The astonished woman replies, ‘I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?’

‘Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!’

‘I’m very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church.’

The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor’s study to inform him of her situation.

The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language.

They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, ‘Sir, what seems to be the problem here?’

‘There is no damn problem,’ the man says. ‘I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money. ‘

‘I see,’ said the pastor. ‘And is this bitch giving you a hard time?’