Little Tyrone was watching his mom cook dinner. He covered his face in flour and said LOOK! Im a white boy. his mom slapped him on the head and said show your daddy what you did! His dad slapped him upside the head and said show your granny. His granny slapped him across the head and asked what you have to say for youself? He said, “I’ve only been white for 5 minutes and I already hate you f!*#ing niggers!
I bought a race horse named “MyFace.” He’s not very fast, but imagine the people in the stands yelling “Come on my face! Come on my face!”
I, the penis, request a pay raise due to the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I work weekends & holidays.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in dark areas with poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. I may be exposed to disease.
Dear penis,Your request has been denied for the following reasons:
1. U don’t work 8 hours straight.
2. U work in short spurts and fall asleep after each brief work period.
3. U don’t stay in your designated area and arefrequently found in other locations.
4. U don’t take initiative and must be stimulated to start working.
5. U leave your work place messy at the end of your shift.
6. You are unable to work overtime or double shifts.
7. U sometimes leave your designated work area before completing the assigned task.
8. You have constantly been seen entering & exiting the work place with two suspicious bags.
A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don’t need to drink with the same one twice.’
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don’t need to drink with the same one twice either.’
The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says,
“In America we have so many illegal aliens that we don’t have to drink with the same ones twice.”
God Bless America
Recent studies show that sucking dick takes away the ability to speak. Now I understand why you text and never call.
A guy went to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asked him, ‘Are you allergic to anything? He replied, ‘Yes - caffeine.’ ‘Have you ever been in the military service?’ ‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘I was in Iraq for two years.’ The interviewer said, ‘That will give you 5 extra points toward employment. Then he asked,’Are you disabled in any way?’ The guy said, Yes….an IED exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles. The interviewer grimaced and then said,’O.K. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day. The guy was puzzled and asks, ‘If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don’t you want me to here until 10:00 A.M.? This is a government job, the interviewer said. For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.
For a limited time, you can purchase our most popular shirts for only $6.99 each
