ROADHEADRULES.com

If you can not afford a doctor go to an airport.

You’ll get a free x-ray and a breast exam and if you mention Al Qaeda you will get a free Colonoscopy!

Q. Who made the first soft drink?
A. Adam he made Eve’s cherry pop.

A Marion County man said he was just being neighborly when he befriended an elderly next door neighbor. However, he said the 92 year old woman wanted much more from him.

Dwight Bettner said when he wouldn’t give Helen Staudinger a kiss, she opened fire.

Staudinger wanted a kiss and when she didn’t get one from 53-year-old Bettner on Monday afternoon, deputies say she got angry.

“There’s three holes in the wall and one in the window and of course, one in my car,” Bettner said.

Bettner said his home was hit with a barrage of bullets, shortly after he finished a conversation with his elderly next door neighbor.

“So she started to leave and then she said, ‘I’m not leaving without a kiss.’ And I said, “I have a girlfriend you’re not getting a kiss,’” said Bettner.

When Staudinger opened fire, Bettner was standing on the opposite side of the window where the bullet hit.

“When the bullet came through the window here, it hit right here,” he said.

When Marion County deputies went next door to Bettner’s home near Fort McCoy, Staudinger told them she didn’t remember where she put the weapon. But, deputies found a semi-automatic on an end table.

In court Tuesday morning, she asked a judge to release her from jail.

“She’s pretty much raised hell for quite a while, but I never thought she would start shooting at me,” said Bettner.

Staudinger was charged with shooting into an occupied dwelling and aggravated assault.

She has a bond set at $15,000 and her daughter is expected to bond her out.

#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you’re on the road.

#8 - If you admire a friend’s gun and tell him so he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7 - Your primary gun doesn’t mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5 - A gun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.

#4 - Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3 - A gun doesn’t ask , “Do these new grips make me look fat?”

#2 - A gun doesn’t mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the Number One reason Why Men Prefer Guns over women is

#1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun!

Q. How fast can a girl fuck?
A. Only 68 mph cause at 69 she flips over and blows a rod!