ROADHEADRULES.com

A man walks in on his wife blow drying her coochie. He says, “What the fuck are you doing?
She replies, “Heating up your fucking dinner!”

Bruntlett became the second player in major league history to get the final three outs on his own, accomplishing the feat Sunday to preserve the Philadelphia Phillies’ 9-7 victory over the New York Mets.

Frank and his buddies were hanging out and planning a 5-day golf trip.

Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn’t go because his wife wouldn’t let him.

After a lot of teasing and name calling, Frank headed home totally frustrated.

The following week when Frank’s buddies arrived at the golf resort, they were shocked to see Frank sitting in the lobby, drinking a beer, holding his putter!

“How did you talk your wife into letting you go, Frank?”

“I didn’t have to,” Frank replied. “Last I night I slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then, my wife snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, ‘Surprise.’

When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and said, ‘Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed, and you can do whatever you want’……SO HERE I AM !”

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A. They are fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to find out.