ROADHEADRULES.com

A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don’t need to drink with the same one twice.’

The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don’t need to drink with the same one twice either.’

The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says,

“In America we have so many illegal aliens that we don’t have to drink with the same ones twice.”

God Bless America

Q. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
A. Gagged

Southwest Airlines flight attendant David Holmes has become something of a minor Internet hit after passengers posted cellphone videos of his hip-hop inspired takes on the standard cabin announcements.

CNN also recently aired a segment on the 40-year-old former personal trainer who has worked for Southwest since 2005, becoming a flight attendant last August.

Here is a video of Flight attendant David Holmes performing his on board pre-flight rap routine:

A little boy says to his mother, “Mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white?”

His mother replied, “Don’t even go there! From what I can remember about that party, you’re lucky you don’t bark!